I wrote this a few days back and didn’t get around to posting it till now (I know, I’m sucking at this whole writing more thing that I’ve committed to, but hey life’s a work in progress.)

I’ve been in Vietnam for about a week and it is one of my favorite countries yet. Vietnam has been filled with those “Holy Shit, what a day,” thoughts before going to sleep each night. There is more life being lived in each day it seems. From ABSEILING down a waterfall … (And cliff jumping, floating down the realest lazy river, trekking along the water, and riding waterfalls like slides) at the adrenaline-junkies heaven in Dalat (hands down one of the coolest, most pit of the stomach butterfly inducing experiences ever) to cycle touring through the tourist-less An Hao to finding hidden waterfalls in Bai Xep to getting a custom made evening dress in Hoi An, to a motorbike tour through Hue, my first week in Vietnam has been unreal.

But let me catch you up on the three other magical countries I wandered through before here…

Current Location: The Giant Ibis Bus (Legit the name of this bus, GO CANES! I took it as a good omen!)… en route to Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam

So anyone that knows me can attest to this; anytime I get in a car, bus or plane, I usually knock out cold. I’m talking before lift off and waking up while landing. It’s a talent I take pride in and have come to appreciate greatly as I travel. However, the roads in Cambodia are a tad bit harder to sleep through and seeing as I have a 7-8 hour bus ride today to Phnom Penh and another 6 hours to Ho Chi Minh tomorrow (*and 6 hours turned into 12 hours haha but you’re in South East Asia and well its almost to be expected) I thought it was about time I wrote down some of the indescribable experiences I’ve had these past 5 weeks. (How the F*** did that much time already pass?!) I feel like there is so much I want to get down, so many things I’ve done and seen, so much I’ve learned, so I apologize in advance for the monster of an entry this may turn out to be.

Anyways, welcome to my unfiltered thoughts…

So far I’ve spent 3 weeks in South Korea, a week in Singapore and a week and a half in Cambodia. Each country has been vastly different but equally & beautifully challenging and inspiring in its own way.

My time in Korea was a chance for me to explore a bit of my roots and more importantly connect with my Grandparents (on my dad’s side.) For most of my life, we only ever got to spend about 2 weeks or so together every few years. The last time I saw them was 4 years ago for my high school graduation and needless to say a lot of change has happened on both ends since. And while I’d like to say my three weeks in Korea was a treasured time with rainbows and butterflies and old family tales, a lot of it was simply frustrating and a serious test of patience.

I quickly learned that I inherited my strong will and stubbornness from my grandma. I told a friend that she was as stubborn as I was and his response was “As stubborn as you are? How has that house not burned down yet?” And well this is a big reason why I haven’t written anything about my time there till now. Every time I went to write, I realized I was coming from a place of anger and frustration (and well those feelings are human and natural when you are trying to close both a cultural and multi-generational gap.) But I didn’t want to portray my time in Korea like that because in truth there was so much greatness I experienced during my time there also.

Going from living on my own to being told how I should dress, how I should wear my hair, how I should get the beauty marks from my face removed (which I quite like the constellation on my face,) to the being told not to pursue a certain career or not to travel to certain countries or travel alone period or how I’m becoming an old maid at 22 and need to find a husband…. a lot of conversations turned into slight arguments because we didn’t see eye to eye. (Not to mention, the culture in Korea is very much still traditional and conservative in terms of “gender roles.” I am too strong for a woman. Too outspoken. I stand a little too tall. It’s not right for me to travel alone. But I believe my parents raised me to be a strong and independent human and that’s a good thing. I was encouraged to question things I don’t believe in. My parents created a space where we had healthy conversations and opportunity for me to develop, express and hold true to my own beliefs. So again, thank you mom and dad for being atypical Korean parents.)

But then I began to notice that my grandma would repeat a lot of the same questions and stories, give the same lectures and we’d go through the same conversations turned disagreements… verbatim… almost as if she forgot we’d already had them. My grandma’s mother had Alzheimer’s and I believe she’s scared she’s going to get it too. No one mentions to her when she forgets something, not my grandfather or me to avoid freaking her out (even though her forgetting might just be from good old aging.) I decided though that well if she was forgetting a lot of things and more importantly remembering only certain things, I didn’t want what she remembered of the time we spent together being filled with disagreements. It required very little of me to try and be the dutiful grand daughter; simply change my clothes when she wanted, acknowledge her wisdom, and agree to disagree and leave it at that or agree even when I didn’t to give her a bit of peace. It taught me to let go of being right. I didn’t have to make her understand my viewpoint or change her beliefs to mine. It just wasn’t important anymore. What was important was hugging her everyday so she’ll remember what my arms around her feel like. What was important was listening to her stories no matter how many times she already told me just as attentively as the first time. What was important was going on dinner dates up on the Namsan Tower with my grandfather because what my grandma likes to see is my grandfather being showered with love.

 

Watching my grandparents get old, it reminded me that well we really don’t live forever. Hopefully, your lifetime is a longtime and more importantly well lived. But with each day that passes, you are one day older and one day closer to your last day. As morbid as that sounds it’s a reminder that we’re not invincible or young forever and so we must live the present extraordinarily!

Also choose who you want to spend forever with wisely! Watching old people bicker is quite fun but reminds you that its till death do you part… I mean we all dream of the fairytale ending of prince charming and happily ever after… but shit have you ever thought about the fact that ever after is a long time?! I’ve never believed in settling for anything less than what I want. I don’t want a comfortable love, or a relationship that “could work.” If I’m going to spend forever with one person, I want to be infatuated with that person. Not a mediocre love. I want a crazy, life-inspiring love. I believe we all deserve that. And I believe it exists out there for everyone. Call me a dreamer…

I spent a lot of time outside of connecting with my grandparents as well, taking time to explore the country. I wandered through the small nearby mountain, getting lost on trails less run each morning to get my cardio on. I climbed Mt. Bukhansan or Mt. Bukky for short with an inspiring new friend. Seeing someone chase and achieve all of his ever evolving and growing dreams makes you believe in yours again (and for that, I thank you so much friend!) I spent time meeting with friends of my parents who treated me as their own. I’ve always believed a person’s best friends are a testament to the type of person one is. Mom and Dad, you have some incredible friends with beautiful minds and open hearts that are definitely a reflection of the kind of people you both are.

I spent days being a tourist! Running around the historical favorites to busy street markets where you will often see girls walking around with bandaged faces from Plastic Surgery. And that I’ll say is the thing I like least about Korea: the importance they give on looks— from the type of clothes you wear to the shape of your face that encourages girls to get their jaws slightly sawed narrower and reattached, to the size of your double eye-lid… It’s insane! I heard a mother telling her 3-year old daughter one day while changing at a dance studio how she needs to take ballet “so she can be skinny like the older girls around her.” She went on to say, “it’s a good thing you didn’t eat that snack before or you’d be popping out of your leotard.” And my heart broke. This mother didn’t’ want to put her perfect daughter into one of the most beautiful art forms to inspire her daughter. She did it to hopefully ensure that her daughter would stay skinny, which wouldn’t be a big problem in my eyes if her mom wasn’t telling her daughter at 3 years old that your physical looks are priority. A 3 year old! My 3-year old will be told daily how beautiful she is just the way she is. She’ll be put into ballet only if she wants to and with hopes of her loving it as much as I did, to hopefully nourish and cultivate creativity or teach balance and discipline or foster a deep connection to music or love of life and the discovery of real love of the self from within. Not to make her look a certain way.

Okay end rant. Back to those must see attractions for anyone with trips to Korea coming up: I hit up Gyungbokgeum (if you go early you can rent a traditional Korean dress called a “Hambok” and run around the historical buildings and take a ton of pictures) , Busan (the southern most part of Korea with beaches and trails around the coast,) Hanok Village, Myeong Dong, and the Namsan Tower just to name a few of your Korea fan favorites. Getting around Korea and heading to Seoul from PyongCheon was super easy with the efficient subway systems and I had some pretty awesome people help show me around, get me to try eating live octopus (its legs were still moving post being cut up) and try all the different coffee shops and bakeries (which there are a ton! I will be shocked to find a country with more cafés than Korea… so fear not caffeine addicts, Korea’s got your fix around every corner quite literally!)

 

Time away from work and teaching and well the every day life gave me time to be in the listening to what my heart missed. In Korea, all I wanted to do was take a dance class and luckily found Seoul Tanz Station, the Korean version of a BDC you could say. It felt freakishly good to move again. Time away from well everything I believe offers clarity and the beat of your heart becomes easier to hear.

What I was most surprised by while in Korea was how quickly my Korean came back. (It must be a mother tongue thing… so strange.) I haven’t used Korean fluently since I was maybe 8 years old, the last time I traveled to Korea alone. Before that, after about the age of 3, my parents really only used English at home, which is why my brother and sister even with the having gone to Korean School on weekends can’t really speak a word of Korean since English was their first and dominant language. My parents always said one day I’d appreciate being able to speak what I thought at the time as a useless language to spend my Saturday mornings throughout grade school studying. They can say I told you so. Being able to communicate with my grandparents as well as everyone else I met and navigate easily through a foreign country was something I grew to appreciate. At times speaking with some friends who also speak both English and Korean, we’d switch back and forth between tongues when one language couldn’t quite hit the nail on the head for what we wanted to express and I never realized how fun that could be!

And somehow in the midst of getting lost in beautiful conversations, time soon flew and it was time for me to head off to Singapore with just my backpack, whether I was ready to or not. (And well, in truth you are always ready.)

Let me start by saying, Singapore is easily the safest and cleanest country I’ve ever been to. I’m talking like spotless. No one eats or drinks on the subway. They don’t even sell chewing gum!

Kick-starting my solo trek for real in Lion CIty, it was the first time during my time away that I felt a little homesick. I think it hit hardest when searching for my first dinner alone. Eating has always been a social thing for me (outside of cooking for myself at home.) I never ventured to restaurants on my own before and so the first night walking into a random street restaurant, I felt incredibly awkward. A good friend told me before I left that there would be times where I would get lonely and this was the first time I experienced just that. I began to miss my family and friends, and the comfort of familiarity. I was incredibly alone in a new and foreign country.

Luckily, later that first night I met a bunch of other travelers at the hostel’s lounge area. Many were nearing the end of their months around the world and hearing their adventures, well I forgot all about my homesickness. Since then, it has been non-stop butterflies in my stomach every morning. I learned to enjoy eating alone the few days following. I could try whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. It was liberating! I had no one else to take into account. No compromises to make. Just me and my curious, exotic taste buds! I spent mornings all week dropping into different yoga classes then hopped into the street food stores with the longest line. Sometimes I didn’t even know what I was going to be eating. I would tell the guy once I got up to order, “Just give me what you think I should have, the must try’s!”

I think it is important to be able to learn what you like and don’t like, freely without pressure and expectation and to try everything before deciding. Too often, in groups we say, “Yea sure, I don’t care. I’ll eat anything.” Well when its just you, you have to care and make up your mind.

On the topic of food, the food in Singapore is bomb! Considering they have food from all neighboring countries your choices are limitless. Some signature Singaporean dishes definitely noteworthy are chili crab (literally crab in chili), Laksa, chicken rice and this sort of rib soup broth.

Most people only spend a day or two in Singapore. Even some locals say it is small and doesn’t have much to do. I gave myself a full week and found new things to do each day and liked having the time to leisurely explore as I wanted, which really just proves that if you actively search for something, you can surely find it, (and that extends to any country or city.)

I hit the touristy stops of course. Made my way to the sky park of Marina Bay Sands, Gardens by the Bay, the Botanical Gardens (featuring the largest collection of my favorite flowers, orchids, I’ve ever seen,) Sentosa Island (my least favorite spot in Singapore, too touristy and like a watered down Disney World,) China Town and the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple (they have Buddha’s tooth literally on display,) and Little India during Deepawalli. But I also had the time to explore the more hippie part of town on Haji Lane and get my aura read and chakra balanced. I explored the peaceful MacRitchie Resevoir (which it was raining that day and a man at the bus stop insisted I take his rain poncho since I didn’t bring one. And well, I believe ponchos make you look like a walking condom but when a sweet old man gives you his, you put that right on with a grateful heart.) I took a day to hike through the Southbridge trail, filled with stunning tree top walks and very few other hikers. I wandered around the Bugis St. Flea market, Club Street and Clark Quay’s many bars and clubs, the electronics megaplex Sim Lim Square, and even popped into a hole in the wall for a good old-fashioned mani-pedi and great conversation with some local ladies.

  

  

I lucked out in Singapore that one of my best friend’s brother and sister-in-law live there. They kindly took time to show me around and made me feel like I had a bit of Miami with me. They even taught me how to properly taste wine at the Singapore International Wine Fiesta. (I was getting drunk after the first few tables cause I was drinking everything haha I thought it’d be rude not to finish what was given to me!) Being world travelers themselves we spent time talking about how everyone says they want to travel and very few do. The truth is, traveling is quite simple: You be in action. You save some money and book a ticket (and traveling through a place like South East Asia is about as cost friendly as you can get.) The power to live your life the way you want lies entirely in your hands. So what are you waiting for?

In Singapore, I also had the pleasure of meeting a friend of one of the beautiful Bala yogis. She took me to enjoy traditional Laksa (probably my favorite dish so far, think hot, spicy coconut milk soup with noodles) and then showed me around the “East Coast” filled with old shop houses and even took me to where the prostitutes hang at the Karaoke bars that offer much more than Celine Dion sign-a-longs. It was a night full of fantastic drinks and even better conversation. She doesn’t have kids, but if she did, she’d be one bad ass, amazing and inspirational mom.

A week soon passed and I was on a flight to Siem Reap, Cambodia.

Cambodia was a change of pace and came at the perfect time. A beautiful country, very much under developed and some parts still covered in land mines, Cambodia is home of the majestic Angkor Wat and some of the savviest children asking for money (they’re fantastic sales people as well!) At the 509-step temple, a small boy followed me up the entire way, fanning me, despite my saying “Te Akun” or “No thank you.” In return I bought him a cold energy drink. You’re encouraged not to give money to the kids for it encourages them not to go to school. What I loved though was seeing kids running around and playing old games, flying kites or playing double-dutch. No one was on an iPhone or watching a movie on a tablet. It was raw and fun and simple. And it brought with it pure joy!

My standards of a “good” room have become simple: a proper toilet and shower. (But seriously, I just never developed the necessary muscles to aim on a squatter…) If a room has got A/C and warm water, you’ve hit the jackpot, though its usually smoking hot and a cold shower is glorious. I’ve learned to overcome my fear of cockroaches (okay just kidding I haven’t, but lucky for me I had a great roommate that night who kindly gave the 4 cockroaches a second chance off the balcony of the guesthouse.)

For Cambodia and Vietnam I’m traveling with Stray Asia. It’s a hop-on, hop-off bus tour. It basically gives you the freedom to choose a multi-country route with stops in certain cities and helps arrange public buses for you to take for longer treks. You can hop off at any stop and stay for as long as you’d like and hop on another bus through the route. It was one way I could give my parents a little peace of mind while still having the freedom I desired. And through it, I’ve met some beautiful people from all around the world. From the UK, New Zealand, Germany, Norway, Belgium, Ireland and so on, all on very different life paths and journeys.

It is amazing how strangers turn into friends quite quickly. (Maybe its cause wifi is limited and we are forced to get off our phones and have actual conversations and foster real human connection again.) I’ve learned time and again from each person I’ve met that there is not one right way to live life. Each person is living their own life and you have the power to shape it entirely into what you want it to be and the possibilities are endless. More importantly, your career is not who you are. For some, it is just a means to pay for travels. And that’s okay. You don’t have to be defined by your job, which I think is refreshing to understand at 22 when getting a job or establishing a career is constantly on our minds and has been built up to be this “definition of your life” kind of idea.

And well some days were harder than others, I won’t sugar coat it. Waking up with 80 + mosquito bites after taking a nap on a hammock can provide for quite an uncomfortable following few days, especially when your ass got bitten up. It can get incredibly hot and humid and long bumpy bus rides drain you. But that’s a part of the journey and helps you to appreciate all the amazing parts.

From sunrises over Angkor Wat to swimming in waterfalls to midnight jams with my superb guitarist roomie (it’s been a minute since I’ve really sang a bit and it was just loads of fun) to midnight swimming with Plankton on a remote island, Koh Tunsay, that only has electricity for about 2 hours the entire day to taking a small boat out on the lake at night to find fireflies (apparently around the world not many have seen fireflies! I used to play with them and catch them as a child and well those memories came flooding back!) to finding hipster NGO run arts cafes and supporting local artists, getting fresh pressed juices that cost you all of maybe $2 and not the arm and a leg like back home, and finally a meal that isn’t rice and chicken (I love rice and chicken don’t get me wrong, but every now then I just want a fresh salad and chick peas, yes I miss Whole Foods, make fun of me if you must) to dancing at a local club and realizing you are the only westerners there… to tackling my fear of spiders and trying fried tarantula (my theory is this, if its on the menu, someone likes it!) to going to the local temple for a dance festival with my homestay family (they were playing Cambodian House music—coolest temple I’ve ever been to!) and dancing with one of the family’s little girls proving once again that dance is a universal language and connects people instantly and then cartwheeling and handstanding with some of the local fearless boys, it was an unforgettable week. I wish I could do it justice through my words and run-on sentences haha.

  

And while each country has taught me so much, traveling itself in general has taught me, or rather reminded me of, some of the most important truths.

These truths?

• Each day holds the potential for something absolutely incredible, mind-blowing and life changing. While traveling, I realized there’s an increased sense of urgency. There’s an urgency to make the most of each and every second of the day because well it certainly won’t last forever. There is so much to see. So much to do. So many foods to try and people to meet. I don’t want to waste anytime in bed (and I wonder how I wasted so many days in the past hitting snooze and watching Netflix.) There is just as much potential in a day at home as there is here miles away and in truth, even at home life won’t last forever, we’re on a limited time table so make the most of it. YOLO right?

• Things will not always go as planned. Flights will get delayed. Buses may not run as planned. Hell, buses may break down in the middle of almost nowhere or you’ll get stuck in a two-hour stand still trying to get on a ferry cause of traffic from the “Water Festival.” And yet your experience of these events depends entirely on how you choose to react to them. You can choose to react in frustration. Or you can simply accept what is and move on. The way I see it, anytime I get on a bus, either the bus will get me to my destination smoothly, safe and sound or it will break down and I’ll have to find my way another way. Either way I’ll get there eventually. My flights will either take off on time or they’ll get canceled or delayed or terminals will be changed. In any situation, there is always more than one outcome possible. It may not be ones we want but possibilities nonetheless and a gamble we must take. There are times that I’ve been frustrated when I’ve had to change my schedule because a bus company all of a sudden closed for the week… but then I realized my frustration was doing nothing other than causing me inner stress. The bus company wasn’t running so it just means I wasn’t supposed to travel on that day. No use in fighting what’s been written or wasting time fretting over it because well either way I won’t be able to travel on that day and I’ll have to make a decision on alternate solutions.

• The world is so much bigger than our own lives and our own problems. Our problems are just a minute detail in the immense scope of the Universe. The world is far grander than the little worlds we cage ourselves in BUT the energy we bring to it has a grand impact!

• We all say, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” And well no offense to Gandhi, but how can we change a world we have not seen? I believe there is importance in seeing how other people live, in creating connections and fostering relations with people from all around the world. It makes the world less scary, less ignorant.

• There are so many different people going through different things, following different personal legends. (I had some time finally to read one of my favorite books, “The Alchemist” and it was the perfect reminder through some long bus rides that there is a path or legend written for all of us!) There is no one or right path that you must follow so long as you are journeying to where you want to be to the best of your abilities.

Well that felt like word vomit haha but that’s it!

Time to wander some more through Vietnam! Sending lots of love from around the world!

As always, Live & Love Fearlessly ❤